Finally got a job at giant haha

i cant wait to get some money  istart golf in a week.

Im doing okay for the moment

saturday was pretty filled with crying and hugs. I dont do good at funerals.

Im back home…..idk what to say

Things are going okay im guessing. I dont know how jill is doing but im sure she is kind of ruff. I know things are hard for the family. We will all be there for them. There is a funeral this saturday. I will be going to pay my respects. I never really got to know you Amy but im sure you were a great person. You will be remembered.

On the other side, I got hired today by Giant. So that is good. I think things are going okay for me and my dad. Im trying to be here for him as much as i can be.

I also have someone on my mind all the time. I really like you. I hope things will work  for us. Im tired of these flings.

thats it for today

Today i came back home and came home to figure out we have lost one.

let her rest in peace.

This really sucks that this happened.

We gotta be strong.

Cant say much today.

Long weekend.

Ever had to wake up asking yourself “why am i here”I used to. I never liked being here, being around, never liked having to follow the rules or have to act like someone else just to be cool or be one of the popular people.I have gone threw a lot but im not gonna act like that makes me any better than anyone else. Yes, i may be stronger than you in different ways. (Mentaly). I think i have seen a lot for only be 16 years old. I mean ive seen people in the worst conditions possible. Ive seen them in their best, but the thing is that i stuck by them no matter what it was. I never gave up. Yes, it was really hard at times. It was also very painful in ways i can not even start to discribe. But overall when you go threw something like i have. YOU have to be the strong one YOU  need to be the one to show everyone we can get threw this all good or bad. People will see that you can get threw anything. I have really learned a lot. And i am actually finally putting it all together and using all my lessons to be able to live a good life.I wanna be able to have a relationship with my father again. We have not been as close lately but i mean we have things we both have to work on. Mostly me. I need to show my dad he cant trust me. I know i  have done a lot of stupid things that would mess up our relationship. But i mean im not gonna be home much longer i wanna make us stronger than ever cus i know im gonna miss you once i leave and its gonna suck not havin you around all the time.

I have really figured out life lately. I hope that one day i can show the world that i can help people amd that i want to be able to help people.

So i wake up around 1P.M….stayed up real late.

I have started to pack my room because i am moving out of my house soon.

My dad and step mom get home and we are all having a good time and they go out to get food for dinner and they come back and we eat dinner and my father gets a call when we are all done eating and he has this really weird and disturbed look on his face and he goes outside so no one can here what he is saying. Me and Jill are wondering what the heck was going on. Im sitting in the chair and Jill is behind me on the couch and my dad walks in and i stand up to have a drink and he points to go to my room so i did. And i sit on my bed waiting for something to happen and all i hear is Jill screaming no over and over again and from that point i knew what happened. I didnt want to leave my room because i wanted to give Jill space. It was horrible i was sitting in my room in silence just listening to her scream in pain about her sister.

I feel really bad. No one should ever have to go threw something like this in their life time. I went threw somethin close to this but luckly my uncle was to come back from his coma.

I will pray and hope for the best. There is nothing more i can do than hope and be strong and be here fro everybody who needs help.